


one last time,

by fuckingkinney



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Mention of sex, Self-Hatred, Stalking, The ending can possibly be implied as a trigger warning, but not overtly stated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 20:57:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4935127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckingkinney/pseuds/fuckingkinney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everywhere he’d go, it was like he was transparent. This wasn’t like when Gallagher was drugged out of his mind, could barely keep his eyes open… No, this was worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	one last time,

**Author's Note:**

> i was determined to never write about these two again tbh considering how much i hate the final & the way the writers responded to mickey/ian fans, but here i am. 1am & emotional over these two fucks.
> 
> also, details might be wrong because i haven't watched the final since it ended & i'm not rewatching. sorry!

He prefers when they _scream_ at each other. It’s easier and that’s something he knows to respond to. They can yell until their lungs feel like they’re going to give out, until their throats go raw and they’re both blue in the face. That is something they’re good at, having done it so many times before. It’s how they communicate through the ‘bad times’. They can’t talk like a normal couple. That was something they realized years ago.

Mickey can’t stand the silence. It grates beneath his skin and irritates him more than any insult ever could. He doesn’t know what to do when Ian refuses to look at him, let alone anything else. He doesn’t know what happened this time, he really thought it would work. Maybe it was naïve, stupid of him… but he _believed_ in them, and wasn’t that meant to be enough?

Only Ian pretty much told him to fuck off after he told him that he loved him. That was it. That was all the response he was given before he was being chased down the street by the crazy fuck with a gun. Ian avoided him after that.

Everywhere he’d go, it was like he was transparent. This wasn’t like when Gallagher was drugged out of his mind, could barely keep his eyes open… No, this was worse.

This was Ian ignoring him because that was _his choice_ , not because he could barely remember his own name. Ian was sober and stubborn, more so than usual. How was he meant to fix this, when he wasn’t even allowed _close_ to him?

If it wasn’t Ian, it was of the others. Always blocking him off and staring at him with a mixture of pity and anger in their gazes. It was a new low he’d sunk to, to have any of the Gallagher’s feel _sorry_ for him… but he couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop. Not until Ian _noticed him_.

He was like a stalker, obsessed and insane. He got drunk until he couldn’t breathe, until he couldn’t stand. It was more nights than not that he ended up in a heap on the floor, his cousins standing over him as he stared at the ceiling and _sobbed_ for the pain in his chest, for the life he could have had… Only he was a Milkovich.

Why the fuck would he get anything even close to a happy ending?

Time and time again he’d forced himself into new situations, for Ian. He’d come out to _everyone_ , told them that he was gay and that he didn’t fucking care what they thought. He fought with his father, even if the man was a piece of shit. He was beaten to a pulp, twice, because he wanted to be with _Ian_.

It was more than just sex, too… They had great sex, sure. It was enough to get him off in the middle of the night on times he didn’t pass out from the alcohol in his system. It always felt wrong though. No matter how many fingers he managed to press inside himself, it was never _enough_. It was never Ian. 

It gets to the point where he’s past desperate, where he’s past the point of sense. So he follows him. It’s wrong and it makes him feel sick, all too aware that if Ian sees him that he’ll think he’s crazy. He’s aware that he should stop, turn back now and head back to his car, but he doesn’t. 

He just needs to _see him_ one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> leave me feedback maybe?  
> i really want to get back into the shameless fandom & if people are reading, then i'll definitely start writing more
> 
> this was also written in half an hour, so i apologize for any sloppiness


End file.
